It was the day of bonfire night we found out the news we had been waiting for.As the line turned blue we were over the moon.Just what we wanted and needed too. We couldnt wait to tell everyone, our great news.I remember how special i felt when i told everyone. We had such a great pregnancy and u were very good you didnt give me any morning sickness or anything to moan about son.Time went in quick.Daddy and i went out and bought loads for u.We got your room all done lovely,am sure you would have loved it.We loved feeling your kicks and prods and watching your every movement.Daddy always talks about you kicking him in the back every night when he was trying to sleep.Cheeky you.We used to read our baby book faithfully to see how big you were and how much you were forming.I loved waddeling about with my big belly and feeling so proud that soon i was going to be your mummy. Nine months past sweetheart and daddy n me were gettin so excited because we didnt have long till you would be here.The week before i began to get contractions.Daddy n me sat up all night watchin the v festival or something.As u know, daddy loves his music.Contractions started comin thick n fast but when i phoned the hospital they told me to take a bath.Contractions slowed down babes but never went away.Was worried because you werent moving around as much so midwife came out and told me everything was fine.Had midwife again on the wednesday and everything still seemed fine.On the following saturday,ur due date, contractions began to get worse again.We thought this must be it this time. We phoned hospital loads,only to be told i wasnt in labour.While sitting up all night again me n daddy saw a shooting star.We thought that was you saying hello and you were on your way. Dad and me went out a run about 6 in the morning.Dad was flyin over speed bumps trying to bring the labour on.What a laugh we had that morning.I was in agony but the excitment took over.Gran Margaret came down to see how we were doing and dad told her he thought something was wrong.I could tell by her face she thought so too.Phoned hospital again but still saying the same.My boss Mary came in to see us,while she was in i was in agony.As soon as she left Dad n i decided we werent waitin any longer,so we left for the hospital. When we arrived i was sent to give a sample and your dad was sent to another room.I done the sample and was left standing in a corridor while the nurses were busy chatting. Finally someone came back.We got all set up to listen to your heartbeat but there wasnt a sound.Midwife told us that u would just be hiding but i think we knew that wasnt the case.We got took to another room to have a scan.The doctor wouldnt tell us anything even though i said to her that you had gone.The midwife nodded to me to let me know i was right. Total numbness took over. We went out and phoned our family to let them know our beautiful baby was going to be born asleep.So much to deal with and no time.Hospital said i wasnt in labour when i phoned but when i got there i was 8cm dilated.Within about an hour of finding out you were gone i had to give birth to you. I have many mixed emotions about this time.I was so pleased to see my beautiful baby boy but so gutted not to even hear you cry.You were so perfect.Weighing 5lb 5oz.With ur dark hair,wee cute face n big long legs. Our family came to meet you.Think they were all as gutted as me n daddy were. We left that day with a blanket u were wrapped in a wee book with ur hand and footprints, a lock of hair and 2 pictures of you.We should have been taking you home with us baby boy.That was one of the hardest things me and daddy has ever had to do.We had to walk out that door without you,our precious little boy.